Helios’s Awakening 10

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Helios’s Awakening

Part the Tenth—
Who’s going to stop us from waltzing back into rekindled flames if we know the steps anyway?
—“loml,” Taylor Swift

Locking charms never seemed to work.

Draco’s hand was down Helios’s trousers when Andromeda walked in on them the second day back on Christmas hols.  She stared at them for a long moment, they remained absolutely still with guilty expressions on their faces, and then she walked back out and closed the door behind her.

“What should we do?” Helios breathed into the silence after several long moments.

“Well, she’s gone,” Draco reasoned, but Helios pushed him away.

“She’s my mother.”  It should have been obvious.

“And she left,” Draco insisted, reaching out to clasp Helios to him, but Helios was already pushing himself off the bed.  He hurriedly started putting his clothes to right and whipped his wand over himself to get rid of any wrinkles.

“Helios—”

But Helios wasn’t listening.  He was out the door in two seconds, leaving Draco a heap on his bed.

Going down to the Tapestry room, he found Andromeda failing to read a book, her face incredibly pale.

“Mother?” he asked and she looked up.

“Ah, Helios.”  She took out a badly cut ring with a black gemstone and set it on the counter.  Helios knew he had seen it somewhere before.  “Cousin Regulus finished it.  He’s gone.  The Dark Lord is gone.”  She sounded so relieved.

Helios rushed up to her and picked up the ring, suddenly recognizing it from where it had sat on the Dark Lord’s finger.  The stone was broken as if it had been smashed, and he looked up into his mother’s blue-grey gaze.  “How did he do it?”

“He went over to discuss terms of your apprenticeship.  Regulus saw this and realized this was keeping the Dark Lord alive.  We didn’t know about it.  Cousin Regulus destroyed it as he destroyed all of the Dark Lord’s other—instruments of immortality.”  She picked it up and looked at it distastefully before tossing it aside.  “The Dark Lord was enraged and a duel was fought.  Regulus won.  He’s resting now and will probably be in a meditative sleep for the next week.  It’s too dangerous to take him to St. Mungo’s.  Severus will be coming over and looking after him.  But I thought you’d like to know.  It’s over now, darling.  You’re free.”  Her expressive blue-grey eyes looked up at him.

Helios searched inside himself but he didn’t feel any differently than he’d felt this morning.  He breathed out and tried to center himself.

Andromeda closed the book she was holding.  “You and Draco.”  The change of topic was a jolt.

He looked up.  “We did put a locking charm up.”

“Yes,” she agreed, pointing her wand at the door and snapping it shut so they were all alone.  A locking charm had certainly been put up, not that they were any use in a house of wizards.  “You’re very closely related.”

“We’re cousins,” Helios agreed.  “How is this important?  We’re Blacks.  Cousins marry all the time and we will never marry—we will never have children—”

Andromeda looked pained and set down the book.  She looked over toward the tapestry for several long moments as if contemplating it.  “You’re more closely related than simple first cousins.”

Confused, Helios looked over at the tapestry, trying to see what she saw.  “What do you mean?”

“Your father isn’t listed,” Andromeda told him.

“Yes, he’s a pureblood.”  She had already told him that.

“Of excellent standing.  The best.  Good enough for any Black daughter,” Andromeda stressed, now turning her attention to Helios.  “There’s a reason why I transferred guardianship of you to Lucius Malfoy and it’s not simply because he’s my sister’s husband.”

Helios swallowed and turned back at the tapestry.  “You can’t be saying.”  No, no, that would just be—heinous and the grossest of insults to Aunt Narcissa.

“It’s illegal, of course,” Andromeda told him.  “Hypothetically speaking, if a woman were to seduce her sister’s husband, it’s not only incest which carries ten years in Azkaban, but it’s another twenty-five years if she commits line theft.  That is, if there’s a child.  It’s best if no one knows.  The child should never find out.”

“Are you saying,” Helios asked carefully, pulling up a chair and sitting down heavily, “I can’t even tell Draco?  You want me to just go upstairs and break his heart and not even tell him why?”

“That is exactly what I am saying, Helios.”  She reached out and traced his ear with her fingers.  She had done that so many times before, and usually he found her touch comforting, but now he felt dead as ash.  “We must bear the brunt of the knowledge and protect the loved ones in our life.  Perhaps Theodred—or someone else—can pick up the pieces of your heart.”

Helios didn’t say anything.

“It’s your heart I am worried for, darling, not Draco’s.”

“I don’t want Theodred.”

“Not now perhaps, and hopefully not ever, but your heart will mend.  You will want someone sometime in the future.”  Andromeda looked at him sadly.  “If I had known you and Draco had feelings for each other, I would have stopped it.  Lucius would have stopped it, I’m certain of it.”

“Draco wanted to keep it private.  Everyone in Slytherin suspects.”  Helios bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from screaming.  “Are you sure?  Are you sure it’s Uncle Lucius?”

“There was only Lucius,” she promised.  “There is no doubt.”

“Christ’s blood,” Helios swore under his breath.  Then something occurred to him.  “But I look nothing like him.  I only look like a Black.  I always assumed it might have been Uncle Regulus.  We live in his house.”

“It is not Cousin Regulus, darling.  You have your father’s height, his chin,” Andromeda told him.  “His hands.  Small things.  We were fortunate you more strongly resemble me.—I am so glad Lucius gave me you.”

Helios was wishing he had never found out any of this.  That he had remained Harry Potter, that Draco had found the nerve to kiss him and they had had a star-crossed romance, never knowing they were brothers or even cousins.  Perhaps he would not have been as happy in his life, as loved, not having a mother and a lost father, but he would not know this pain in his heart, like it was shattering and would never find its way to being whole again.

There was a knock on the door.

Andromeda sighed.  She waved her hand and the door opened to reveal an unsure looking Draco.

“Aunt Dromeda?”

“Helios and I were just having a discussion about familial obligations,” she told him with a small smile.  “I’m certain your father will have a similar one with you, Draco.  You are expected to marry and have a child.”

His jaw hardened.  “We’re fifteen—”

“And you should not confuse your familial love for each other with anything else.  Teenage experimentation is for other boys, not with your own blood.  Your father will agree with me.”

Draco’s eyes shone blue-grey in defiance.  “I don’t think Father will agree with you.”

“You are welcome to ask him,” Andromeda invited him.  “You’ll see he’s in agreement.  Now.  Your mother will be expecting you for tea.  Do send her my love.”

“Helios?” Draco questioned.

He looked up, taking in the beautiful curve of Draco’s white neck.  Helios gave him a small, uncertain smile.  “I have to think, Draco.”

Draco’s mouth set.  “If that’s how you feel.”  He turned and walked down toward the kitchen.

Andromeda reached out and placed her small hand over Helios’s.  “You’ll see I’m in the right in the end.  You just need to sleep on it, think a little.”

Then why did he feel so heartbroken?

That night Helios stayed up with the window open, looking up at the full moon.  His mind was blank.  He must have fallen asleep because he awoke to Kreacher popping in and bringing him his morning tea, slumped against the pillows.  Hedwig was sitting in the open window and Helios remembered how much Draco loved his owl, and his heart hurt even harder if that was even possible.

It was Sunday and they were going to church with the Notts.  Helios dressed in a tunic and shirtsleeves, charming the bags under his eyes away. 

The church was small and had no more than twenty parishioners.  The Notts were the foremost family.  Theocritus escorted Andromeda in proudly, Theodred, Theo, and Helios following respectfully.  They were an odd family, Helios thought.

If everything had been perfect, his mother would marry his father.—but his father was already married to his mother’s sister.  It was all fucked up.

Incest. 

Line theft.

Those were crimes with sentences in Azkaban.

He really was the illegitimate son of a Death Eater.

When they returned to the house, Theodred got him a glass of cider.  “It’s not spiked,” he apologized.  “I would get you fairy fizz but I don’t want to upset Stepmother.”  He tipped his hat toward Andromeda.

“I’m not sure I’m in the mood for good cheer,” Helios apologized as he sat and looked at the fire.  He wondered if he should just walk into the fire and see if it would throw him anywhere from the residual floo powder in the grate.

“Aren’t you happy for your mother?  For our families?”

Helios turned to look at Andromeda and Theocritus.  A small smile was playing on her lips but it didn’t reach her blue-grey eyes. 

“Are you happy for your father?”

Theodred seemed surprised by the question.  Helios regarded him for a long moment as he took a sip of his cider. 

“I’m happy that it brings me closer to you.”

“That’s no reason for our parents to get married.”  He grimaced.  “Theodred, this changes nothing.  Now you’re my brother.  It’s—I—I think it’s illegal now.”

“We both know that’s thestral manure,” Theodred argued passionately.  “We are no more brothers than we are lovers at this moment.”

Helios looked at him, shocked.  He hadn’t expected such passion from Theodred, from someone he had only shared fairy fizz with at a campfire.  Compared to what he felt for Draco, Theodred was hardly a passing concern.  Could Theodred really feel this way for him?  After just one night?  He swallowed carefully.  “I speak as I find.”

“I—see.”  Theodred took a moment.  “Theodore suggested there is someone else.”

“Mother has forbidden it.”

“Oh, why?”

“Does it matter?  It’s forbidden.”  Helios finished his cider and set it aside.  “I can’t be here.  Apologize to everyone for me.”  He went to the fireplace and very quickly threw floo powder into the grate and jumped into the green flames.  He saw his mother’s shocked face, but he turned away from her, hoping his apologies would be enough.

He immediately went to Malfoy Manor.

He wasn’t looking for Draco, however.

The first house elf he came across, he asked for Uncle Lucius.  They weren’t home from church yet, so he was shown into the study and given pumpkin juice and asked to wait.  They must be having sherry with the vicar.  Three quarters of an hour later, Uncle Lucius appeared, taking off his gloves, still wearing his winter cloak.

“Helios.  I wasn’t expecting you.”

“It’s Mother.”

“What about your mother?  Is she well?”  Lucius looked genuinely concerned.

“She’s having cider with Theocritus and his sons.”  He turned and looked at his glass of pumpkin juice and set it aside.  “She caught me and Draco together yesterday.”

“Yes,” Lucius answered carefully.  “Draco said as much when he returned from Grimmauld Place.  I understand your mother is unhappy with the development though I see no problem with it given that you are both young men and no children will come with it.”

“You see no problem with it?” Helios checked.  “Even though we’re—brothers?”

Lucius paused, looked over at Helios, and then carefully set down at his gloves.  “I see your mother was able to tell you without telling you.—You understand what a delicate situation this is.”

“Yes.  Mother could go to prison.”  He didn’t like the thought.  Wizarding laws must be terribly archaic for incest to be a punishable offense.  Line theft though—he could understand why wizards would look harshly on that.

“For thirty-five years,” Lucius agreed.  “I will not hesitate to offer evidence against her so that I will not also go to prison for ten years for incest.  I will not leave Draco—and I will not leave you without a father.”

“Is that why you’re now my guardian?  Because you’re my father?”

Lucius walked toward two armchairs by the unlit fire and offered Helios one before taking a seat himself.  “Yes.  It looks a little odd but as your maternal uncle and as a powerful man, I am well placed to aid you.  If your mother had a brother, he would take the position, but fortunately she only has sisters.”  He paused for a moment, steepling his fingers.  “You were named for me.”

“I—I was?”

“Yes.  Helios, the sun, creates light, lux, Lucius.  It was kind of your mother to think of me.  You realize you can never tell Draco.  This would hurt him deeply.  Your Aunt Narcissa, likewise, can never find out.  No one can know.  You should never have been told.”  He paused.  “The more people who know, the more dangerous it becomes.”

“But—you do not think—you said Draco and I—”

“You are cousins, it is natural for you to be close,” Lucius told him, choosing his words carefully.  “I do not disapprove.  I do hope you will consider marrying when the time comes, but that is many years in the future.  You are young men and you care for one another.  It is only natural.”

“Then you will speak with Mother—”

“I will speak with Andromeda,” he promised.  “I will make her see sense.  She is a little too close to the situation.  She was perhaps shocked.”

Helios bowed his head.  “How did it happen?  How did I happen?”

Lucius was silent for several moments.  “I do not wish to speak against your mother.  She is a good woman.  She was desperate.”

Helios leaned forward.  “You’re my father.  Don’t you owe me your honesty?”

Lucius looked at him and then nodded.  “Your mother was trapped in her marriage to Ted Tonks.  I think she realized early on she made a mistake, but she dropped out of Hogwarts her sixth year and quickly became with child with Nymphadora.  She stayed because of her.  When Nymphadora was about six, she realized she had to get out.  She wanted to take her daughter with her and needed help.  I was the only family willing to help her, but she thought she needed extra persuasion.

“We met for drinks.  She put a love potion in my drink as an incentive.  Not Amortentia, one of the dark potions.  Wudud, a Middle Eastern potion.  One thing led to another and she had her reason for separation—you—and my cooperation, which she had already without any extra…incentive.” 

He paused.

“Ted Tonks used her pregnancy as reason to keep Nymphadora.  Dumbledore was Head of the Wizengamot and took his side.  Andromeda lost Nymphadora, and then there was the prophecy and you had to be hidden, but the Dark Lord found you anyway.”

He turned pensive and looked into the fire grate.  “I would have taken you gladly.”

“I wish you had.”

Lucius leaned forward carefully.  “I haven’t asked because I did not wish to push, but I should like to know very much where you have been living.  I understand it was with Muggles.  Were they,” he seemed to be searching for an appropriate word, “kind?”

Helios thought for a long moment.  “No, they were not kind.  They were not abjectly cruel, either.”

Leaning back, Lucius asked, “Were they neglectful?”

Thinking, Helios decided, “More than neglectful.”

His lips thinned.  “I will not push—”

“Professor Snape knew Aunt Petunia when they were children.  Draco said that Lily Potter stole his magic when they were children.”  His face scrunched up.  “Ask him.”  He stilled and thought for a long moment.  “I’m still not sure how a Muggleborn steals magic, but Draco said someone stole Neville’s before he came to Hogwarts.  Do you think that’s possible?”

“Neville Longbottom?” Lucius checked.

“Yes.  Do you think that could be true?”

“I think that is more than probable.  I’ve seen his scores.  He writes his essays well enough but his practical work is dismal.”

“I don’t—” Helios took a deep breath.  “I don’t understand how it works.”

“Well, that is easily solved.  Minxie!” he called out.  A little house elf popped into the room and he ordered, “Bring me the back issues to Wizarding Quarterly from 1993 and 1989 from the library.”  He turned his attention back to Helios as Minxie popped out.  “Those are the correct years, I think.—Oh.”  He snapped his fingers again.  Minxie popped back in.  “And ‘A Pureblood Child’s Guide to Mudbloods.’  That will be all.”  Minxie popped out again.  “Have you had lunch?”

“Er—no.”

“Then you shall have lunch.  Minxie will get what we need and you can take it home with you.  Come.”

They stood and walked out of the study.  Making their way through the manor, they arrived at the family dining room where Aunt Narcissa and Draco were waiting for them.

“Ah, there you are,” Narcissa greeted.  “I was worried not all was as it should be.”

“Andromeda was being strict about familial relationships like we discussed last night, dearest,” Lucius assured her, taking his seat at the head of the table and indicating that Helios should sit to his left, across from Draco, who was looking anxious.  “I was assuring our nephew I would speak to her.”

“I don’t know where she gets these ideas.  Uncle Orion and Aunt Walburga were cousins,” Aunt Narcissa was saying as food materialized in front of them.

“She overly worries for Helios.  He’s been out of her care for fifteen years.  She merely overcorrected.” 

Helios waited while Uncle Lucius carved the pheasant.  He peaked and looked up at Draco who was decidedly looking back. 

The end of the meal could not come fast enough. 

As soon as it was over, Draco practically dragged Helios to his room and pushed him onto the bed.  “All settled then with Father?” he checked.

“All settled,” Helios promised as he reached up for a kiss.  “He promised to speak to Mother.”  He shoved his hand up Draco’s shirt and felt the smooth skin there.  “I ducked out of drinks and lunch with the Notts.”

“Oh dear,” Draco drawled.  “Whatever will Theodred say?”

“Who cares?” Helios asked the room at large, helping Draco out of his tunic before Draco reigned kisses down on his neck. 

They breathed in the same air and turned, wrestling Helios’s shirtsleeves from him.  They ended up on a heap on the floor, not that either of them were paying attention. 

Draco grasped at Helios and breathed a trail down his neck.  Sparks started to spring from their fingers and magic transferred from one to the other as they kissed and kissed and drew in breath. 

Helios drew Draco’s tongue into his mouth and sighed, but he suddenly realized that Draco had become sluggish in his arms.  He left a kiss on Draco’s lips, but his tongue was still in his mouth, unmoving.  Harry pulled off and looked at Draco, only to see him frozen and stonelike, his skin tinged unnatural greige.  It was odd.  Draco was unmoving, like a statue. 

Helios slapped Draco once, but Draco didn’t react.  His tongue was still sticking slightly out from between his lips and his eyes were still closed, his arms holding himself up over Helios.

“Help!” Helios screamed, realizing they were both completely naked.  “Help!”

He tried to scramble away from Draco without hurting him, but he couldn’t.

Then, all of a sudden, the doors sprung open, and Lucius and Narcissa rushed in, and his aunt was screaming and Lucius was rushing spells over them.  Spell after spell was cast before Draco was wrapped in a towel and rushed to the floo, supposedly to St. Mungo’s.  Helios was wrapped into another towel and rushed after him.

He’d never been to St. Mungo’s before, but it was a configuration of magic gone wrong.  A child with flowers instead of skin was sitting in the waiting room and another teenager was floating away like a balloon, her father holding onto her leg to prevent her from hitting the ceiling.

Draco and Helios were hurried into a private room and Helios was made to recount exactly what had happened.

“We were snogging,” he explained.  “Just snogging.  We were pulling off our clothes, rubbing off each other.  It’s the furthest we’ve ever gotten, sure, but he just froze and—” he waved toward Draco.  “I don’t know what happened.”

“Did you use any love potions on him?” a healer asked.  “Any modes of persuasion?”

“No!” Helios insisted.  “Of course not!  We’re boyfriends.  We’ve been together since July, since the World Cup.  Our friend Theo Nott will tell you.”

“It’s an overdose of the dark potion Wudud,” one of the healers was now saying.  “He’ll need an antidote.”

Helios just blinked.  “Who would give him that?”

The potion was quickly delivered to Draco and he slowly began to unfreeze, shivering in the process.  Helios rushed toward him, but was held back by one of the healers. 

Lucius, carefully, approached the healer and began to confer with him quietly. 

“He was conceived on that potion?” the healer checked, looking at Helios.  He then took Helios by the shoulders and began running diagnostic spells on him. 

Draco slowly came to himself and started coughing.  Aunt Narcissa ran to him and held him to her, cradling him to her shoulder and whispering sweet nothings in his ear. 

Lucius was looking at Helios very carefully.

“Yes,” the healer confirmed.  “He has Wudud in his blood stream.  It will be too dangerous to neutralize it at a molecular level.  We can give him palliatives so this doesn’t happen again.”

Narcissa looked up with stunned eyes.  “What are you saying?”

“Your sister used Wudud to conceive Helios,” Lucius explained carefully.  “It seems like it entered his blood stream at conception.  It’s no fault of his.”

“Why would Andromeda—?”  Understanding entered Narcissa’s eyes.  “Oh.  I see.”  She looked down at Draco.  “You’re his guardian, Lucius.  Give permission for them to treat Helios.”

Lucius was looking between Narcissa and his true born son and nodded.  He turned to the healer and said, “Let’s make sure this doesn’t happen again.  Helios should not have to worry if he kisses someone that he’ll overdoes them on a dark potion.”

The healer nodded and left the room.

Robes were brought out for Draco and Helios and they changed out of their towels. 

Aunt Narcissa was regarding Helios carefully when she was not cooing to Draco, who was asking what had happened.

Helios approached Draco to take his hand, but Aunt Narcissa shook her head at him, so Helios took a seat in a chair and waited for the Healer to return.

By the time he got back to the Manor, it was well into the evening.  Lucius had the issues of Wizard Quarterly and the children’s book packed up for him and he flooed back to Grimmauld Place with his first month’s supply of potions.  Uncle Lucius had the recipe so that Professor Snape could brew another two months’ supply before he went on biannual doses.  He’d be taking potions for the rest of his life.

Andromeda was waiting for him reading a letter.  “So you went and defied me.”

“I see Uncle Lucius told you.”

“Yes.  You’ve been infected with Wudud.  I’m sorry, but it’s better you know now than on your wedding night.”  She sighed.  Turning to him she looked at him with blue-grey eyes.  “See what your unnatural love got you?”

Neither of them noticed Sirius in the door.  He had come to wish Andromeda good fortune on her engagement and to sign the marriage contract as Head of the Household.

“If you hadn’t raped Uncle Lucius, this never would have happened,” Helios pointed out.

“I didn’t rape him,” Andromeda told him firmly back, her eyes carefully on the letter.  She looked like a vision of righteous indignation with her long dark curls and blue-grey eyes, her face set in derision, but Helios was angry.

“Then what do you call it?  Never mind that it’s incest, but it’s line theft!  Did you plan on getting pregnant that night?  Did you arrange it that way?”

Andromeda didn’t even look up.

 “Dromeda?” Sirius asked, confused.

“Christ’s blood.”

The secret was now getting out.  The healers knew, Narcissa knew, Sirius knew.  Who else would soon know who didn’t know already?  It was perhaps only a matter of time before Andromeda ended up in jail for incest and line theft.

Helios looked at his mother.  After the day he’d had, he wasn’t entirely sure she didn’t deserve it.

He walked out of the room and looked at his dogfather.  “It’s good to see you,” he murmured, but Sirius wasn’t looking at him.  His wide blue-grey eyes were staring at his cousin, Andromeda, a haunted look on his face, as if the world had just collapsed.